TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
