What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
