Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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