Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize