Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
