a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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