and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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