i just wanna soil my oats bro
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
