Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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