Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
