He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
