you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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