using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
