there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
