You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
