We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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