So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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