loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My vagina is very pro this idea
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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