can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
