party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
