im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Mom said you looked used
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
