the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
