I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
