you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
