remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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