god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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