who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
