a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
