Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
