he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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