Your tits are I can't wait for
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
