Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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