It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just gift wrapped bread.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize