i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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