If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
