I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
