don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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