He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize