sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you never un-have a 4some
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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