This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
