It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
