Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize