I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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