youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
