yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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