Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
