So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
