We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drake has all the answers
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
