I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
smell my finger.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
