she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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