dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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