Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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