I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
