I'm going to jail i love you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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