You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
