Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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