Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
